Instalment One Hundred and Sixty Four

He looked at his reflection and saw perfection.

He looked again and thought maybe that wasn’t enough.

He realised the eye glasses over when faced with uniform perfection.

He saw flawlessness was a flaw, that perfection was not perfect.

He understood that it’s a bump in the road that reminds you how smooth your ride has been.

He set about perfecting perfection.

He pulled puppies ears till they learnt to bite.

He taught good children to wield a stick rather than offer a kind word.

He scratched new cars, toed wet cement and walked on the grass.

He left his fractured perfection in his wake.

He fell in love with a smart, kind woman with a beautiful soul.

He treated her so well she fell in love with him.

He told her his life’s mission and her face became a mask of horror.

He listened to her cry, ‘you are a monster, I’d could never love you.’

He was ruined for good, you could now see his black heart in his eyes.

He had been broken perfectly making him perfectly broken, something that would never bring him joy, not anymore.


She was happy to help him complete his life’s work.

Instalment One Hundred and Sixty Three

He saw the future when he slept but when he woke the detail of his dreams turned to steam and slipped through his grasping fingers.
He would search out the subjects of his prophetic visions to try and warn them of what he knew but never had success.
“I had the strangest dream and I think it was about you,” he would begin. “It was raining or we were in the pool, I’m not sure, does your name start with T? There was a very low doorway.”
No one cares about other people’s dreams, real or imaginary, so he was unable to communicate his prognostications. To many he was just another crazy person.
But that is when They came calling.
They recruited him. They are responsible for every wrong, They killed Kennedy, They faked the Moon landing, They are probably hitting on your girlfriend right now.
You ask anyone who did it, “They did!” will be the reply. They took the bad news from his dreams and made it happen. 
Which is why when you open the paper it seems like the nightmares of a madman.

Instalment One Hundred and Sixty Two

I take everything literally and I take everything, literally.

“I might need you to repeat that.”

I am a literal kleptomaniac and I’m a kleptomaniac, literally.

“You’ve not really made yourself any clearer.”

I take everything literally, which figuratively speaking would make me a literal kleptomaniac…

“See I think you have already contradicted yourself.”

…and also I literally take everything.

“Well I agree with you there, give that pen back please. Now semantically speaking…”

No, shoosh now. I’m not into semantics at all, I’m anti semantic.

“I don’t think you should say that too loud,”

But I would say I’m not anti some antics, I love me some antics to break up the quiet between words. I think I come off as odd to people.

“You took the words right out of my mouth”

See I told you I was a literal kleptomaniac. I literally took your words; I take all the words literally, I collect them. Thank you, this has been a great help.

It took time but the Wordsmith always managed to help people find the meaning of their lives, and librarians were always a little bit crazy.

Instalment One Hundred and Sixty One

A 200 Word Story Sponsored Content Feature

Nondescript, unremarkable and unmarketable?

Not a problem!

Good but not great?

Your product need be second best no more, it can be second better.

What if we told you that marketing isn’t for you.

Traditional advertising agencies happily take your money to deliver campaigns that are “just fine for what you are selling.”

We are no traditional advertising agency – we’re something new.

Your leg up might just be having the other guy stumble.

Introducing the Avertising Agency.

Q. What is avertising?
A. Simple, rather than drawing attending to your product we draw it away from your competitors.
Q. Isn’t that just negative or attacking advertising?
A. No, we don’t attack your competition, we just diminish the attention they receive.
Q. How does it work?
A. From the tried and true  “look over there,” model to “oooo a shiny thing,” we have a range of campaigns tailored to not suit the needs of your competition.
Q. If it works so well, why are you advertising?
A. Have you heard of another avertising agency? No we averted them, proof our work works!

We make distraction all action.

Avertising 
- Out of sight, out of mind.