Lonely never had much luck in relationships. “Unlucky in love” is how friends would have ruefully described it. Well they would’ve said that, had Lonely any friends to ask.
Lonely invariably had plenty of spare time and, in quieter moments, thought solely of ants. Ants would never live such a life, you never saw just one ant. They must be sociable creatures, all crammed together in their colonies, working hard side-by-side. They could never feel as Lonely did.
One night while picking out a bottle of cheap red, Lonely bumped into Drunk and they instantly hit it off. They were a perfect match, no two were better suited to be together. You would always see them around, Drunk and Lonely, Lonely and Drunk. Though they were not a couple you would want to meet or talk to, sloppy, maudlin and self-absorbed, they provided balance for one another.
Out for pints, while Lonely was in the bathroom, Drunk met Horny. By the time Lonely got back to the bar, you couldn’t have separated Drunk and Horny with a crowbar.
The relationship was over.
Broken-hearted, Lonely sat in a dark room, listened to country music and wished to be an ant.
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