Instalment One Hundred and Seven

By far the easiest and quickest way to insult the intelligence of a complete stranger is to walk up to a crossing they are already waiting at and push the button yourself.

That one small action says so much with so little effort.

It says, just from the brief glimpse I have had of you, based only on your appearance and how you hold yourself, I have made the decision that it’s entirely possible you are mentally incapable of understanding, let alone operating, simple pedestrian signals. So I am doing it for you.

BANG!

BANG! BANG!

Ridicule hits the button hard, three times while looking me in the eyes.

“Yeah, I had already done that,” I explain to him.

“Oh, well I heard if you press it again it thinks more people are waiting and changes quicker,” he replies.

“Firstly, it doesn’t think anything,” I say, “and second, if you believed that were true wouldn’t you keep on pushing it?”

Instinctively, his hand shoots out again.

BANG!

“I didn’t know if you had pushed it,” he says.

“What, am I waiting for a gap to run across?”

BANG! BANG!

“Well you know… I didn’t want to risk it,” he replies.