Instalment Sixty Eight

I have a talent. A power. A curse. Drive me to anger, rage, annoyance or inconvenience and my eyes narrow. I don’t wish ill, I’m not inhuman, my thoughts betray me. Not my conscious mind, a reflex defensive malfunction.

My mind kills.
I don’t control it. Can’t. Control.

Annoyance is a daily occurrence.

The curse was bad.

I went to my family dinner, it got worse.

I turned myself in.
This guy, the cop laughed, thinks he kills people with his thoughts.

You must believe me, I screamed at his corpse.

It took the death of 17 Doctors and nurses before isolation was achieved. No human contact, not even voice, if I don’t know you I can’t kill you. But I still remember people.

A green cursor blinks on the black screen. someone must have died.

What have you been thinking?

Just reading, I say.

I have books, nothing new, dead writers only, author pages ripped out.

Have you been emotional today?

Yes. Your questions annoy me.

Revanchist, does it anger you that you, you have hurt everyone you have ever loved or cared about, family friends? That you are cause of your own misery?

That does make me angr…

Instalment Sixty Seven

Days of Heaven

The God of Atheists(1) knew that believing in things only led to trouble. And The Management’s misplaced faith in the new “Business Consultant,” who now stalked the hallways, stunk of bad news. First day in the office she’d hung a motivational banner to promote hard work and less chit chat written in big, cheerful, red comic sans on white canvas - There is no humour in Heaven(2). Well there’s bloody not any more, the God of Atheists muttered, I might as well be down there with the damn atheists.

It’s not so bad, the God of Agnostics(3) said consolingly, I think if you two sit down and chat you can come to an agreement, if that’s what you want?

Just pick a stinking side will you! the God of Atheists snapped, you know your trouble… she tailed off as the consultant appeared.

My, how are we all today(4), she asked, don’t you have something to be getting on with(5)?

Well doubting Thomas here and I were just wondering what qualification you need to consult to Heaven, the God of Atheists asked.

MBA, she replied, everyone thinks it’s just a piece of paper but faith in the system repays a thousandfold.

(1) – Of course there is a God of Atheists, it is just the sort of thing that will annoy the bejesus out of them. Their own absolute faith in being smarter than everyone else is what kept him in a job.
(2) – Somewhat missing the point of the original Mark Twain quote, “The secret source of humour itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.” When he saw it, it was reported he shook his head and muttered “All right, then, I'll go to hell.”
(3) – Never sure if he had a job or not, just hung around and tried to be useful, fetch tea and the like, please people, if that’s what they want, it was impossible to tell with some people.
(4) - She was one of those types don’t ask questions so much as make statements, that was how she said hello.
(5) – I told you, statement.

Instalment Sixty Six

The opposite of false is true but the opposite of a lie isn’t the truth. The truth is genuine and accurate no matter what, it is reality. A lie however, requires someone to tell it and someone to believe it. So the opposite of a lie cannot be the truth, as that requires no participation, no involvement. The opposite of a lie is something else, something the Finns call Epäuskottava Todenperäisyys. To translate it literally means the Unbelievable Truth.

Unbelievable truths aren’t big important things like the meaning of life, they’re facts you’re told that you don’t believe, like Eskimos have 20 different words for snow (why is this impressive? There must be 50 words for breasts in English and no one finds this meaningful and profound). But the most common and useful unbelievable truths, and the ones I enjoy, are the everyday truths.

“Why didn’t you come to my party?”
My girlfriend doesn’t really like you, I say, and I’m starting to agree with her. Then you smile like it’s a joke. They can’t believe that you are telling the truth, because who would do that. You have told the truth unbelievably, and that, is better than a lie.