Instalment Twenty

A scientific exploration with the intention to identify the standard deviation.

Honoured guests, fellow scientists,

Today I present to you the findings in my examination of the constant allowances of science, the variations in research we all must endure.

The standard deviation.

There is nothing standard about them, apart from the fact they are always there, always popping up and ruining our lives. How many of you have had your day ruined by a deviant. It always seems like these deviations are individuals, unique in their divergence, but if you see enough of them, if you look close, you see the relationship.

A standard deviant. The standard deviant.

I stand before you today to announce that there is indeed a standard deviant. And I found her.

A verbal exhibitionist. A person that expresses private thoughts in public places. The most common deviation on the planet. A deviation so common it has become average and so normal you don’t notice it.

But behind you in line, on the phone in the supermarket or at the table over at the café, these deviants lurk. Ready to ruin your day with their lives, their unwanted information.

“My boyfriend does this. . . the kids like that. . . “

It stops today.

Thank you.