Instalment One Hundred and Sixteen

Snap Dragons, Crab Apples and Lantern fish - Click to embiggen - Illustration by Alex Douglas

No sooner than we had chased those Dandy Lions from our garden than we were beset by the damn Snap Dragons.

The pesky things flittered around our ankles and gave such nasty little bites that would sting for days.

It had started with the Pussy Willow who came prowling hungry at our back door and the children told Nanny to feed her.

Once encouraged, we could not shake Pussy Willow loose, soon she set up selling Fox Gloves by the bird bath, which of course brought in foxes. And dapper foxes in gloves led to Dandy Lions.

Word was out we were at home to visitors.

Our orchard was overrun with Crab Apples that pinched at any fingers that dare pluck at fruit.

Our lovely forest, past the pond charmingly lit by Lantern fish but now wild with Tiger Lilies, was a shambles. Suddenly part Worm Wood, part Dog Wood, it slithered and snarled and one was not safe day or night.  

My beautiful lawn! Buffalo Grass had taken over, tramping, grazing and befouling its lush green splendour.

Our grounds, with barely a week’s neglect, became a jungle.

Surely I would fire the Gardner, if he survived the Leopards Bane.

Instalment One Hundred and Fifteen

Illustration by Alex Douglas - Click to embiggen

“All aboard” Aadvark announced, ascending awkwardly atop Alphabet’s ark.
 

Bad breathed Badgers bellowed but boarded belligerently.

Climbing catwalks, clownish Cassowaries convened.

Darting Dingos ducked, dodged, dived, doggedly driving disrespectful developments.

Ernest elderly Echidnas emerged emotionally embracing everyone, eager Elk entourage entered.

Furious Flamingos flapped flamboyantly forward, foxes ferreted ferrets fretfully.

“Get going goofy, grinning, greedy, greasy, great grotesque goons,” happy helping Impala imprudently joked, jostling Jackals.

Kiwis, literally mortified now, offered penance.

“Puh-leasssssssssse! Perfunctory, phony phrases pretend prudence. Pitying placebo pleas placate poorly. Quiet quirky Quasimodo. Quickly quit quaint quackary,” reptorted rakish, rubbernecking reptiles.

Rabble rousing Rattlesnakes, really relished righteous rage, rumbled resplendently, “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSilence! Stop shameful sorrys. Silly seaward ssssshipmates should suitably substitute sustenance.” 

Single solitary Sloth, starting sobbing, sighed sadly, “Saints save sanity,”

The truth teased the troubled Tapir, “Tenderness triggers teamwork. Undergoing unbelief undoes unknowing, unearthing unimaginable understanding unilaterally.”

Vagabond Vole vocalised verily, “Vexation vanquished villainous, venomous, vampiric, vulgar, vitriolic vipers.” “Victory!” ventured vibrantly visiting Vulturs.

Wombat with Walrus waddled waggishly, wading without wariness welcoming xray-fish yacht-ward.

Zestful Zebu zipped, zig-zaging zanily.

Alphabet bellowed, "Calm down! Everyone’s final groupings help instil jovial kinships. Let’s move nicely okay? Prime quickly, rowdy sightseers turn up visualising wondrous Xanadu, young Zoo.”